Do people really change?

So I posted something on my twitter the other day stating "People don't change, situations do" and I got mixed reviews about the topic. I believe that once people reach a certain level of maturity and intelligence that it is basically impossible for them to change. I don't think that a person that has been set in their ways for too long can change themselves. And with the changing of situations I believe that any situation can be change. I believe that a person just has to be smart enough to realize whats worth changing and what you just need to walk away from. And with that said I have walked away from a bunch of situations this year and I don't regret any of my decisions.

P.S.

I figure since I haven't come up with anything yet that my New Year's resolution will be to get back on my blog. I will definitely do a post rounding up my year, it shall be interesting.

I change like the seasons

So I haven't been on my blog in ages, but as soon as I came back to it I realized that I had to change everything about it. It's actually quite sad though. As soon as I saw the word love on my blog I thought "Oh no that has to go." So much has changed since the last time I posted. My feelings are completely different now towards love, relationships, and men in general. I don't have the same mentality that I did earlier this year. I think I've become pessimistic about it all or maybe just tired of it. My feelings now are that I am too young to worry about it and I should just worry about living my life and doing whats good for me. I just want to make my life worth living[that's my motto now] So I decided to put me and my life first and then love last, if it comes it comes if it doesn't oh well, I'll still be alive.

Yeah so my sister is going to be a model.

Introducing Tiffany "TK" Dryer

Its Been a Long Time

Wow, I actually forgot that I had blog. How senile am I lol? I guess I've been verbal speaking to mind to everyone and I didn't really need to let out on here as much. Not to much has happened, ok maybe a few things have happened but its nothing to yell and tell the world.

I'm finally finished with this semester. Unfortunately, I got a C+ in one of my classes. I was so upset when I saw it, but I kinda expected it. I wanted to almost cry though. But thats life, not everything is rainbows and butterflies, u have to get through the thunderstorms and hurricanes before u can truly appreciate all the good things. I'm very happy that I got two Bs and an A though. So now my gpa is a 3.4. I guess I will just have to work harder next semester.

I have so much to write about so this is gonna be the most random and unorganized post ever becuz I don't feel like making a bunch of different ones. I know I'm lazy but hey thats me.

I went to 106 and Park about a week ago and I had a really good time, despite the fact that I got caught in the rain and was completely soaked and was an hour late. Being drench in water, with my gel pouring out of my hair was completely worth it though. Lucky me, I got to meet Trey Songz. And I must say that this man is even better looking in person. He looks flawless and almost fake. He has one of the best smiles that I have ever seen.

I finally got to see the Hannah Montana Movie [kinda late and kiddish, but I loved it]. It was alot better than I expected it be. I loved the part at the end when she sings the climb.

I had a very informative and deep conversation with [him] the other night. I almost broke completely down, but it was nothing less than I expected. According to him he doesn't have romantic feelings toward me anymore, and he was just trying to be nice to me by still being around and acting like he likes me. Honestly I wasn't surprised at all, I was just upset that I was lied to. And I'm tired of playing the victim and always feeling like I owe him something. I just simply want him to be here becuz it is truly where he wants to be. According to him this is where he wants to be for now, but idk how much longer this will last. At some point though I know that I won't be able to hold on any longer and he won't give any thing else to hold on to. The more I think about us though, I just know that all the bad and the pain is worth it for now, just so that I can have the moments when we are together and everything else doesn't seem to matter and we are happy. I'm probably crazy to wait and hope that I future together will be brighter but for now I'm happy with him and I love him, and I want to be able to express my love for him no matter how he feels about me. Just like I said before sometimes u have to go through the toughest rain storms to get to the most beautiful rainbows. I just hope that at the end my rainbow is all I'm hoping it to be.

Do You Really Know Jersey?

So, I just got finished reading a bunch of comments on People.com about the upcoming premiere of the Real Housewives of NJ. And it seems that everyone was bashing and hating hard on New Jersey. It disgusted to me to read some of the stuff that was said, and most of it was by people that don't even live here. And honestly I had no idea that people were viewing our state this way. People were calling it dirty and saying it is trash and it smells. Which honestly in some spots it does smell. But these close-minded, ignorant people have no idea how important NJ really is.





Firstly NJ was one of the first states to join the union, and today it is the second wealthiest state in America. NJ is great, not to mention our famous beaches, and the many ports that we have that play a big role in importing and exporting valuable items. So I decided to post some reasons to love NJ (no particular order):





1. The beaches, need I say more


2. Atlantic city


3. NYC influence


4.Liberty State Park


5. Princeton University


6. Six Flags


7. Real Estate


8. Rutgers University


9. Brooke Shields


10. The Sopranos


11. Bruce Springsteen


12.Bruce Willis


13. Chris Rock


14. Lauryn Hill


15.Ice T


16. Whitney Houston


17. Redman


18. Christina Milian


19. Naughty by Nature


20. Neighboring NYC, Philly, DC, and Baltimore


21. Full service gas stations


22. Diner Capitol of the WORLD


23. Largest seaport in US, in ELIZABETH


24. 80% of the nations imports comes through Elizabeth


25. The light bulb, phonograph, and motion picture projector were invented in NJ


26. Monopoly streets based off of Atlantic City streets


27. Atlantic City has the longest board walk in the WORLD


28. Frank Sinatra


29. First drive-in movie theater


30. Important battles of the Revolutionary War were fought here



31. 2nd wealthiest state in the nation, next to Maryland



32. The weather (whether you like it cold or hot)



33. Diversity among the people



34. The Malls



35. Walt Whitman



36. The Liberty Science Center



37. NJPAC



38. The Prudential Center



39. The Appalachian Trail



40. The NJ Devils



41. Seton Hall University


Feel free to add to the list.

Something new?

This weekend was beautiful, the weather was beyond perfection. I love summer, and heat, and the sun shining brightly. So a recap of my weekend:

On friday I was hanging with one of my friends and at night we went to her boo's house to just hang out. Long story short we watched tv and he got drunk, and I was so bored after a while that I decided to just get drunk. Anyway one of his friends was over and me and him ened up being the last two awake. So we stayed up until like almost 7 just talking to eachother and flirting like crazy. And I think that I really like him now. He has a really nice personality and we mesh well lol. But there are two problems: 1. he slept with one of my friends before and 2. he just got back with his ex girl. UGH! I was so upset when I found this out. And I've been thinking about him since friday night. And i was actually gonna go out on a limb with him and ask him out instead of waiting to see if he asks me out. This whole situation just sucks.

But even after that I had to think, what can I offer this boy? I don't want a relationship and I still talk to my ex. I'm not sure if I actually want to talk to other ppl or not. So would it have been selfish of me to even attempt to talk to him? Idk what I want but I know that I can't stop thinking about him and its getting annoying.

On saturday I went to NYC with my fam and met with my cousin and some of her friends from Philly. They were really cool and I enjoyed finally getting to meet some of her friends from school . So they all were getting tatts when we were in NYC. It was kinda fun because I never saw anyone get tatt b4, so it was interesting to watch. After that we just basically walked around. I LOVE walking in ny. I could just walk around there all day, if the weather was nice and I would never get bored. So obviously I was a little upset when everyone was ready to leave. But still it was a fun trip.

On sunday I wen to Keansburg with Reese and Tiff. I had alot of fun. And I think I got a tan. I love when I get tanned because my skin looks so beautiful and glowy. We just basically rode a bunch of rides and drunk lots of water, the heat was a killer. Overrall it was a good time.

Now I'm back to my regularly scheduled life lol. 2 more weeks of school left. Lets hope it flys by quickly.

Happy Earth Day!!

So today is Earth Day. And I believe that it is more important now than ever. I think that reality is finally starting to hit people and they are realizing how much we have destroyed the Earth so far. And being that I'm a biology major[I love animals and the environment period] I feel very appreciative about all the people who are trying to make a difference. We all can help with preserving the Earth in many different ways. So do some research or join a cause because every little thing helps, no matter how small.

Unfortunately, as I was coming to school today I noticed that they cut down about 4 or 5 trees right in front of the school. I have no idea why they cut them down, but I'm assuming that they are putting new ones up. If not then that is just so disgraceful. How dare they, on Earth Day, kill 4 trees? Thats crazy. I was so upset when I saw this. By the time I get out of school there better be 4 new, fully bloomed trees out there.

Lost without you.

Wow! Its been a while since I've posted anything. I guess I just didn't really have much to talk about. I don't really have much to talk about now either but I figured I would wing it lol.

So I rearranged my room and I got a new bed[my bunk bed is finally gone lol]. Its gonna take me a while to adjust to not sleeping on a bunk bed, but I'll be fine. My room finally feels like it is MY ROOM. Sooner or later I will get it painted, get a new rug, and a new bedspread. The spread I want is like aqua and white, so I'm gonna get an aqua rug, idk what color to do the walls tho because I don't really want to do them white...well I still have time to think about it.

Surprisingly, my [love] visited me twice this week. I usually only see him like once a week or every 2 weeks. It was a good surprise and I really enjoyed his company. Our [relationship] seems to be going very well. Its funny how not being in a relationship makes us better. But I'll do whatever it takes to make us work. I'm really happy right now and I'm sure he is too. Its less drama and less of a hassle than being fully committed and in a real relationship.

I went to my friend's son birthday party on Saturday. He was turning two. Unfortunately the party was in a park that was full of mud so I got pretty dirty. My nephew kept stepping all over me. I think my jeans were brown by the time we left. Its funny because I was more dirty than anybody and I was basically the only person there without a child.

Well thats about it. I don't really have much else to talk about. I gotta try to start posting more. I don't want my blog to feel neglected or get abandoned lol.

The Turn

Surprisingly I have actually made more progress on my transformation of me. I am actually working more and studying more in school, and I finally began to make some progress on my research paper for my English class [I still hate the class and can't really stand the professor]. I am doing a lot better in my math class then I was at the beginning of the semester. I think I was just rusty because I hadn't taken math in so long. And I am happy to report that I got an A+ on both my psychology paper and test lol. I'm feeling really proud of myself right now.

Most importantly though, I have started to work on myself physically. I started working out yesterday. Just doing basic ab workouts and working on my legs. I've been saying that I was going to start working out but I procrastinated with it so much. Yesterday I just sucked it all up, put on some good music, and started working out lol. It was very invigorating and I was in a really good mood after it. My goal is to just tone up my stomach and legs, hopefully they will be looking good by the summertime. I need to have a good beach bod lol.

Honestly just by taking these small steps I feel a lot better about myself. And having a nice day like today always puts me in a good mood too. I can't wait until the summer, non-stop sun and fun lol.

Time for a change

As you noticed I changed the template and colors of my blog. It was way too much white space. I like it a whole lot better now. So maybe I can claim this as step one in my process of changing my life lol.

The Push

So I was reading one of my friends blogs [Vero] and she was talking about how she wants to change herself and things in her life. And the entire time that I am reading this I just see more and more how I know that I feel basically the same way.

It's not so much that I want to change something with me physically or even emotionally for that matter, I just wish that I could change my life.

Honestly I'm not happy with my life or most of the decisions that I have made throughout it, but I know that looking back and dwelling on these events will not make anything better. The thing is I don't really know what will make my life better. I am in school now, and that made me feel alittle better about my life, but I basically have nothing else. I wish that I was involved in some type of activities or groups. I want to be more active period. I want to work so that I can actually go out and do things and not have money be an issue. And I really wish that I still had my car so that I won't have to rely on anyone else or the bus to go to where I want to go. My life has been very difficult this past year but I know that it is all due to decisions that I have made in the past.

So making changes to my life shouldn't be as difficult as I think it is, but for me it is. I make everything difficult, which is why I will probably never be satisfied. I want to get past this phase of my life and just get to the good part where I have a career, a family, and own a house. But I know that I have a lot more hard times to go through before I even come close to that part of my life.

So I feel now that I had a little push[ Thanx Vero] to do better with my life. Just knowing that someone else is going through something similar and is getting through it makes me believe that I too can get through this and make things better. And just like she pushed me I hope that I can help to push someone else to do better.

My day home from school

So I was supposed to go back to school today from spring break, but instead I decided to extend my break. I was kinda tired anyway because I was out all night. I basically slept all day, which was great, and I finally got to watch the Rachael Ray show. I miss that show so much, I used to watch it everyday. But anyway, she had Jimmy Fallon on the show today and I actually really enjoyed it. I never really got to see him being himself before and he has a really good personality and he's very funny obviously. So now I'm kinda falling in love with Jimmy Fallon. And another thing I learned is that he's married. I would of never thought that he was, but apparently he is in a very successful marriage. So I'm gonna attempt to start watching Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, if I'm up at that time, I really look forward to it. Well anyway I gotta go, Gossip Girl is coming on in a little while.

On the Hunt 4 You

So I just realized how much the song Hunt for you by Tearirra Mari relates to the situation that I am in now. Its basically exactly how I am feeling about my certain someone.
Here's the lyrics:

[verse 1 ] I'm looking for you that sweet incredible you that unforgetable you The you that only I can know Tell me what i gotta do What walls i gotta break through That will bring me right back to you[oohhh] Cuz im searching boy...but i dont have a clue [*bridge*] Im not gon stop fighting im gon' keep searching I'll go to the end of the world if i have to I'm gon' keep trying as long as im hurting Tell me what i gotta do cuz boy im on the hunt for you [*chorus*] Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? cuz boy im on the hunt for you Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? [ verse 2 ] I'm looking for you That irreplaceable you That warm embraceable you[oohh] That walked right out that door What argument can i lose? What day can i play a fool? Tell me boy what i gotta do To figure out why you dont luv me no more [*bridge*] Im not gon stop fighting im gon' keep searching I'll go to the end of the world if i have to I'm gon' keep trying as long as im hurting Tell me what i gotta do cuz boy im on the hunt for you [*chorus*] Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? cuz boy im on the hunt for you Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? [ Pleasure P. ] She said i've been missing for a minute I aint been no where I'm in this mudafuqa...till we finish And we go back and forth with cursing words like its Tina's Cuz im a green thing I'll be out here chasing spinach And she said I dont want your cars I'd rather have your heart Yeah you call me you wifey Baby let me play the part She hates when were apart She calls me up whenever i leave She's looking out for me[heyyy.....yeahhh] [*bridge*] Im not gon stop fighting im gon' keep searching I'll go to the end of the world if i have to I'm gon' keep trying as long as im hurting cuz boy im on the hunt for you [*chorus*] Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? cuz boy im on the hunt for you Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? ----- I'm not go' stop fighting I'm gon' keep searching I'm gon' keep trying as long as im hurting Cuz boy im on the hunt for you Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? Cuz boy im on the hunt for you Where you at? Where you at? Where you at? Where you at Where you at?

A waste of a day....

So I'm sure almost everyone has heard of what happened at the NYC audition for America's Next Top Model, if you haven't here's what went down:
There were reportedly around 10,000 girls there for the audition, which was the first for girls 5'7'' and under. The audition was held at the Park Central Hotel on 7th Ave. and W. 55th St. Around 5:00 p.m. in the middle of W. 55th St. a black car drove by and then everyone heard a loud boom. Soon after the car started to smoke and everyone frantically ran in different directions trying to get away from the car. Due to the large amount of people present a few people were ran over and were hurt. Soon fights started to erupt and basically all hell broke loose. The police were seen escorting numerous people away from the scene and putting some others in handcuffs due to their part in inciting the riot. Supposedly someone yelled fire and that a man had a gun causing even more chaos than necessary. After all this chaos ended the police then shut down the audition and forced the thousands of girls waiting in line for countless hours to go home. Many people were upset and some girls even broke down and cried right then and there.

Here's my story:
I arrived at the audition at 10:11 a.m. and there was already thousands of girls there. In the beginning I remained optimistic though because this was exactly what I expected. So I calmly stayed in line hoping that the wait wouldn't be too long and that it would be worth it. The first few hours in line were ok, it wasn't too cold outside and there were plenty of people around to talk to and get to know. After awhile I did have to use the bathroom though, so I decided to leave my spot in line (my sister stayed there for me). I quickly ran down the block to the nearest restaurant. Unfortunately they wouldn't let me use their bathroom because I wasn't a customer, I hate when stores do that. How hard is it to just let someone use the bathroom really quick? Then they directed me to another restaurant across the street and I ran over there to find that they had a sign up saying restroom for customers only. I was about to go crazy at this point. So once again I ran across the street to Ray's Pizza, who graciously let me use their restroom. Unfortunately, there was a line. But lucky for me the young lady in front of the line let me go in front of her because I was jumping around like a fool and she could clearly see how bad I had to go. After all this I returned to the line to wait for another few hours. As soon as the part of the line that I was in hit W. 55th St. all the chaos begin. At first all I heard was a loud noise and then a bunch of girls started to run backwards, which led to everyone being squished to the side of the building. Then I saw the smoke coming up, at first I thought that a pipe may have busted underground and I thought that there was going to be a scene like before when something similar happen in NY. So I was really scared at first. Then I saw that it was a car so I calmed down a little. Some time after that I saw cops escorting people down the block and then they started to take down the barriers that held the line together and just told everyone that it was over and to just go home. My body was so hurt from standing there for like 6 hours that I couldn't even react to the situation if I wanted to. So I just called my sister and told her I was ready to go. Walking away from the scene the only thing I felt was the pain in my legs and back, unfortunately for other girls they felt the pain more in their heart.
Lately I've been used to having bad luck , so I wasn't so surprised when all this happened and I didn't breakdown crying like most girls because I am almost immune to situations like this. Now I just look at the whole day as a waste of my time and body. My right leg still hurts from standing up that long. But its not a situation that I would dwell over, it was a new experience that I would probably never do again.

One Heart 2 totally different minds

Why does love have to be so complicated? I think people make it that way because they are afraid of what might happen if everything actually went right. I want a simple love. One where there aren't any unnecessary fights or disagreements. I just want someone who wants to talk to me everyday just to see how I'm doing or how my day is going or someone that misses me as much as I miss them. Someone who is sure about their feelings for me and isn't afraid or ashamed to say I love you. I just want to hear those 3 words again....from him.
But things get too complicated when love is involved. People change, feelings get hurt, and someone always ends up being the one still in love after the other person is clearly gone.
I don't really know what goes on in your head but I know what goes on in your heart. I know that you love me but your brain doesn't allow you to go too deep with it anymore because of things that have happened in the past. And as many times as we have tried to pretend that the past doesn't matter, it really does. But you said it best, " You're stuck in the past, I'm stuck in the future, and we are both forgetting about the present." I completely agree with it, but there has to be some way that we can meet each other half way.
Because of our past we will never be just friends, its too many emotions involved for that. So no matter where our relationship goes I know that our hearts will be in it. I'm in love and I'm not ashamed to say it, I just hope that you get to that point one day.

And the war begins

So I officially hate English courses. I wasn't so fond of them in the beginning, but this semester really took me over the edge. I realized that I hate writing, not completely, just on an academic level. And my professor is horrible. She assigned us a research paper about 2-3 weeks ago. She gave us some topics that we could choose from, but she also gave the option to choose our own topic as long as she approves it. So my first topic was going to be on the ethics of animal testing. But being the a-hole that my teacher is she decided to reject it because apparently she has a soft spot for animals and doesn't want to read anything that would make her cringe or feel bad for them. And at first I was ok with it because there was also two other people in the class to change their topic because it had to do with some type of animal cruelty. So then I decided to do my paper on the love life of Zeus in mythology and how it affected his role as a god. Firstly, I didn't get my topic approved by her immediately, which was my fault. So I just began writing on it and by the time it was time to hand a draft in she read my paper but told me that I couldn't do a topic that she didn't approve. She also said that she doesn't think that I can go anywhere with this topic. By this time I am pissed. But instead I tried to play nice and just change my topic again. She went over a list of approved topics and all of them were extremely boring. So I eventually chose a topic that she approved of, but then she told me that I couldn't write on that topic because someone in another class was doing it. I don't really see why that matters, we are in two different classes. By this time I just wanted to get out of this class asap, I don't want to deal with this woman for the rest of the semester. So now I chose another topic from her list that she better approve of. Tomorrow for class we are suppose to have our first two points of the paper drafted already, but I technically still don't have a topic. If she doesn't excuse me for the assignment I think I'm going to go off on her. I am so done with English course, English professors, and writing papers after this class. I HATE ENGLISH!!!!

I'm New to this

I kno I might be posting a lot right now, but there has been alot on my mind, alot of stuff will just be really random. So just take the time to read and trust me you will learn a lot about me that you never knew b4.

All Eyes on me in the Center of the Ring

My new obsession is Ms. Britney Spears. Never would of thought that I would like her music as much as I do now, but I jam to it like everyday. My theme song for right now is Circus. Love the lyrics and the beat.

My fav song is radar tho. That song made me like her so much more than i already do. It was my ringtone for a long time. I also saw the documentry mtv did with her and it made me understand her life alot more. And man, life sure is hard for this girl. Its crazy, the things that she has to go through on a daily basis.

But anyway back to the music. I always liked Britney but not to the point that I would go out and buy her album. I would totally buy her album now and even attempt to attend a Britney concert one day. She makes great music to dance to. So my advice for today is before you decide that you don't like an artist make sure really listen to their music and analyze their lyrics too. You may find out that you like artist that you didn't like before.

The Voyager- my real love

Just wanted to mention that I love my Voyager. It's the best phone in the world and I don't care what anyone else has to say. This phone literally does everything and I am more than impressed by it. Although I would love to have an Omnia, but I am happy with my Voyager.

It's a great investment; you get a full qwerty keyboard(possible the best feature, i love it anyway and i would never go back to a phone that doesn't have it), Internet access, email, mobile tv, vcast videos, music, the vnavigator which is better than some top brand navi systems(TomTom) lol, Alicia knows what I'm talking about, i have unlimited texting which is a must for me, the touch screen is great and the camera works excellent, the only thing is that it doesn't have flash which can be a problem at times, this phone is beyond great. i would recommend it to anyone.

And if you do have a voyager try visiting lg-voyager.com, great site with lots of info and make sure to get your software updated to the v11, some minor changes but it make a big difference to a true voyager lover.

90210

So, I am super excited about the new episodes of 90210 on March 31. The thing I am looking forward to most is what happens in the relationships of our favorite West Bev students. Mostly Dixon and Silver. I mean they just got back together and already in the previews we see them having a major problem. By the way am I the only one absolutely smitten with Dixon? I think not. Tristan Wilds is so sexy lol, love his smile.

Anyway, I wanted to talk about whats going on with Annie and Ethan. Totally hate the way the show is going with this couple. They turned Annie into a complaining little brat that has no idea that her boyfriend is growing away from her. That sucks. And Ethan with his whole I'm a new man attitude doesn't seem to care about his relationship Annie anymore. The whole Rhonda thing just made me upset. I hope something bad happens to her in the new episodes and Annie and Ethan are happy together again.

Adrianna, our new star of the show has grown so much throughout the show already. I'm starting to like her more and more. I just hope that her and that baby turn out ok.

Well that's it for now, well all that's worth talking about anyway.